Last Safe Day
by ficwriterm
Summary: The friendship of Cara and Dahlia is about to change when Cara learns that Dahlia is her direct superior in the final years of Mord-Sith training. But their common past returns to remind of itself.
1. Chapter 1

"Look at me Cara."

Dahlia approached Cara at the Mord-Sith temple, one of the training centers outside People's Palace.

"Sister Dahlia."

"Have you been again reading the Book of Secrets Cara? Haven't you been told you to not touch it before your training period is over?"

"Oh...maybe I had a quick look at the Book but...", Cara answered to Dahlia, "but it's quite interesting what it says about Confessors, magic and …"

"Look at me Cara", Dahlia's voice was stronger.

"I'm sorry Mistress Dahlia."

Cara had difficulties to keep this attitude that was now required from her. They had been close friends for a long time, endured together the hardest parts of the Mord-Sith initiation. But recently they had been separated and this had forced Dahlia to distance herself from Cara. It was strange for Cara to learn that her friend was in a position above her.

Dahlia put a finger under Cara's chin and lifted her head to see directly into her eyes. A hint of red rose on Cara's cheeks. Things were really different than before, but Cara knew that soon she wouldn't accept it any more.

"Please Cara, try to learn these things."

"Sorry I should be going to..."

Dahlia stopped her.

"Going to where? To that ceremony? Did you forget you had to meet me?"

"Oh, that is true…I forgot."

"Cara. I know we were friends. But you must obey me during this training phase and do as I say. What has been before is another story, don't think about it now…"

Yes, what had happened to her, to them, things swirled in Cara's mind. The pain of being taken from her home, pure pain both for her and for Dahlia. The Mord-Sith had broken her so many times and making her kill her father was the worst thing. This made her orphan, poor child thrown in the cold world. The only way to stand it was to grow numb and submit to the despotic order. She was harmed to an almost unbearable extent, but still something inside her had not completely died. She had embraced the power of the mind, that strange power stronger than any physical one.

Then over the years a twisted recovery, so much as it was possible in these circumstances, had started to take place after despair and scepticism. The long time spent with the fellow Mord-Sith trainees had had a positive effect on her. She had started to change, made friends and Dahlia was one of them.

Cara thought about her more recent past. It's true, with or even without friends there were certain little sparks of hope in her mind. She was first ashamed of them. They were not hopes of reverting the past, revenging what had happened. No, that was too painful a memory and impossible, for many reasons but the main one was that Mord-Sith's were now her family. Her wishes related to becoming a true Mord-Sith, if that would be her fate, and it was now close. This wish she had concealed inside. She knew that by completing her training, in the end she would be free in a strange way. She would be free although completely bound to serving her master, lord Rahl. But there would be changes, she was sure, and sometimes she still felt that all of this was a weird theater whose plays extended over the years. She was forced to play these plays, did what was asked and did it well.

Dahlia's words emerged again and made Cara to stop thinking.

"...learning the skills of resisting psychologically strong people, when they are trying to influence you with more ordinary means, without explicit power."

"Ordinary means?"

"Games in which you play with the other's emotions, with their feelings. You have to know the connection between the body and the mind. Let me remind you Cara that both of these instances are weak and you need to learn to use them to your advantage. And most importantly, you must not be weak yourself, neither in your mind nor in your body."

Cara started to be more and more familiar with this Mord-Sith philosophy, she started to know, learn and apply it. Dahlia came closer, lifted her arm and caressed softly Cara's hair.

"Yes, Cara, bodies are weak. You can do everything if you know to control yourself. You will have a power which is much stronger than any physical threat. She looked into Cara's eyes. Am I correct?"

"But Dahlia", Cara murmured, "why are you like this, have you forgotten our friendship? We were close friends and liked each other. You are not like this."

There was a short break before Dahlia answered. Cara's words were already an offense and Dahlia could have slapped her.

"What was then doesn't make a big difference now. We need to follow the training rules. So Cara, you have no other choice than obey."

It was difficult to think clearly. Cara felt at the same time amused and conflicted. She saw the same spark in Dahlia's eyes as always, but for too long time now Cara had felt it mission impossible to connect with Dahlia again.

"I see in your eyes that you are not afraid of me Cara. That's good. But you have to kill those other feelings that you are now experiencing." Dahlia went straight to the point.

"I don't think..."

"If you can't resist those feelings, at least learn to channel them out from yourself. I know we were close friends, of course we were. And I also know you like me. Maybe I also still like you. But I'm using this information what I know now against you." Dahlia's fingers didn't stop and she simply played out in practice what she had just theorized to Cara.

"But what can I do…", Cara felt confused.

"What you can do is walk away. I give you permission. The door is not locked and I don't threaten you in any way. Go to that ceremony which you wanted to participate in."

Dahlia was too good in this. If Cara moved, Dahlia would win. Nothing concrete prevented Cara from leaving, except her pride. She couldn't submit to her former friend, and especially when she saw it was not really yet fully in Dahlia's essence to behave like this. But it seemed to be coming.

"I believe you want to ask what happened to our friendship? Yes, we were good friends. Maybe we will be in the future. But not now. What happened to me was the best thing that can happen. I realized what I wanted. Lord Rahl can offer me that."

It really was how the others had told Cara. The physical pain part of the training to become Mord-Sith was one thing, but the psychological part of the training was equally hard, if not harder.

"So you are not going? Good. I knew it." Her smile was confident and a little arrogant. For a short moment she had Cara under her control, Cara who had impressed her so much and who had been so close friend with her. "Okay, now it's your turn Cara. Go ahead."

With slightly hesitating fingers Cara touched Dahlia's hair, then ran them softly over her ear. She felt the softness of Dahlia's skin. She knew her too well, she knew her dragon. Her fingers touched shortly Dahlia's lips, which gave a slight shiver to the latter. But Cara definetely couldn't accept Dahlia's attitude. The face of Dahlia looked to Cara beautiful and gentle as always. Dahlia's eyes were half closed and she seemed to enjoy Cara's touch.

"How does it feel Cara? Do you feel you would like to press yourself against me? Hold me? Then I could be again your best friend here with the Mord-Siths?"

"I...I don't know, it feels good. And yes I would like to be again your best friend, Dahlia. I'm sorry, I'm really confused, you were my best friend."

"I know how you feel Cara, I was like you too. It's confusing. But it's not possible as long as we respect the rules. I'm sorry to say, but this is the Mord-Sith way. You will thank me later."

Dahlia's eyes turned cold and she didn't watch Cara any more.

"Now get out. You can still catch your ceremony."

After Cara left, Dahlia stood a long time at the window and felt irreal. It was still question of her former friend. Dahlia felt her own behavior was still too much like a mask. Warm memories came to her mind, she enjoyed them smiling, she and Cara, the swords, the valleys, the dragon and the knight. If everything else would go away, this wouldn't. It was an irremovable part of her. Then the sweet landscape of the memories became blurred due to voices, fragments of the most horrible parts of their common history, when they had held hands, she heard their voices again in her head, a thing she would never forget.

Dahlia, you are like a sister to me, please help me... Cara, don't show them you suffer. Don't look at the agiels... But it's horrible… I'm sorry Cara... It's horrible... I'm sorry Cara, I have been through this, we must endure, we will get through... But I can't... I'm sorry, I feel the same... No... I'm sorry...Hold my hand, hold it tightly…

The stream of the horrible fragments stopped in Dahlia's mind and slowly faded out like so many times before. She had cried many times but she didn't any more. Crying was conjured out of her, it was conjured out of all Mord-Siths. She went to bed but didn't get sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day was the repetition of the same. The Mord-Sith training regime was harsh, sleeping, serving, studying, practicing, with certain ceremonies and rites. Cara participated in them but something resisted and she was not wholeheartedly in. Perhaps the others felt the same and nobody showed it to the others, she didn't know. She saw Dahlia a couple of times, bowed as she was forced to, but didn't say anything.

It was a studying day and during the afternoon break Cara walked in the garden of the temple. This was a place to have a short disconnect from the other trainees. She needed it and this practice was somewhat accepted and even encouraged. The point of their training was not to make them brainless followers but to have their imagination free to the extent defined by their Lord. Freedom, as limited as it was, was creative and Mord-Siths needed creativity too, as long as it was limited and controlled.

Cara saw Dahlia walk along the nearby path.

"Dahlia. I need to talk to you."

"It's Mistress Dahlia." Dahlia looked irritated. "Yes Cara."

"Can you stop walking."

"Say fast what you want to say."

Cara made something that was not acceptable. She stepped in front of Dahlia so that the latter couldn't continue walking.

"Now what is it? You know you are not allowed to act like this?"

"Are you going to inform to your superiors about me?"

Cara's arrogant words stopped Dahlia.

"What? What are you doing?" Dahlia moved her hand on her agiel but hesitated.

"I'm not gonna take it any more from you. Yes, I know exactly the rules, how I should behave and what is your role. I know what are the consequences for breaking the rules if somebody gets to know about it."

"That's good."

"But I'm going to break them. I'm not going to take any more your behavior. I don't play that game with you."

Dahlia was in a way expecting the outbreak sooner or later from Cara. She knew Cara was a strong character, and if anybody, she would question the situation. The trainees were not stupid, everybody sensed that there were certain cracks in the Mord-Sith group, if not in their ideology, in their practice. The problem was the relationship between the people, between the trainees, between the superiors and the trainees. Things happen despite strong repression and strict rules. Alliances and friendships form, it's like that even with maximum amount of pain one cannot take away everything that is inside and wants to get out.

"Okay. Let's walk to the far end of this garden. The others won't see us and the garden is denser there."

"I'm just saying I'm not going to act like this with you, Dahlia, especially when nobody is watching. I really want us be friends again", Cara said while they walked.

"But it's not possible, the rules…"

"I don't care about the rules!" Cara grabbed Dahlia's arm.

"I have to report your offense."

"You know what it means, Dahlia."

"Yes", Dahlia said. She turned away but let Cara hold her arm.

Cara looked at Dahlia and saw her still hesitate. Dahlia was different from her and she could understand it. There was no easy way out in a place like this. Rising in the Mord-Sith ranks was important to Dahlia, apparently more than to herself. But Cara couldn't accept the behaviour which was imposed on Dahlia and on her.

"What can I do to change it?" Cara said in a more demanding tone. Dahlia shivered but didn't turn her head.

Cara felt Dahlia was oscillating between two worlds. She knew that she bent seriously the rules and forced Dahlia into a difficult situation if anybody of their superiors would know. But the call from inside Cara was too strong and she knew she couldn't turn back, even the danger of getting caught was real. Cara anticipated that whatever happened, Dahlia would eventually turn to Darken Rahl, either telling him or not about her. Would Dahlia then become her worst possible enemy? Or would she still be her dragon? It was no way to tell. Cara saw Dahlia's uneasiness.

"Okay. Okay Cara. Stop it. I listen to you."

"You are an important person to me. I can't let you move so far from me what I feel is now happening." Cara didn't stop holding her arm.

Dahlia's expression on her face changed but not too much.

"You remember our times together? Cries and laughter? The dragon and the knight?"

She felt that feeling again, the touch of Cara, the touch of a friend. How could she forget.

"Of course I remember."

"Hey...Dahlia, this doesn't need to be so serious. Look at you... you are gorgeous!"

"Okay Cara okay…" The tension eased a little. "Don't stop Cara, keep talking."

"I like it, I like how you are. My fine dragon girl grown up", Cara said now smiling and the feelings of their former friendship overwhelmed her.

The time of their long friendship surged back to Dahlia's mind for this short moment, the long years of their time together, the mutual time without concerns. The dragon girl and the knight, fighting together through the pain with their stories and imagination as weapons. Oh, she loved how Cara let her play the dragon girl, the dragon in the shape of a young girl fighting side by side with her. The dragon with her own knight, the knight who came to understand her so well, who tamed her and learned to play with the fire. How Cara had taken care to keep her happy, how they had helped each other, consoled and understood each other from just half a word.

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really. You are not like what you are becoming, I just cannot watch it. Dahlia."

"Yes?"

"Have you ever had thoughts of escaping? Like those who we know. Those who have disappeared from here have not necessarily been killed, even this is what is said. What if the Deviants really exist as the rumor says? We could do it together."

"You don't understand Cara." Dahlia's eyes turned sad. "This is now my family. I'm not going to think of escaping. If you want to get me back, you need to try harder."

There was no drama or arrogance in Dahlia's words, she just spoke how she felt. Cara realized Dahlia's change started to be irrevocable.

"I hope one day you will understand, Cara. Maybe on that one day you can still have me back, your dragon girl. When all this is over. If the day comes."

Dahlia's face was serene. Cara understood that the hope what Mord-Sith training promised to Dahlia was different than what it promised to her. Cara felt powerless, there seemed to be very little to say or do.

"Do you realize what this means Dahlia?"

"Yes Cara. You will compete me, you want to become better than me. I know you. You can't let me win."

Cara saw a hint of arrogance appear on Dahlia's face. She didn't expect these words. Dahlia had really thought it through, thought through their relationship, whether it was conscious or not. Their relationship, as she knew it, was about to transform and a brief feeling of emptiness touched Cara.

"So what now Cara?"

Dahlia didn't need to stay longer. But she didn't move either.

"So you say it's over Dahlia?"

Dahlia just looked at Cara and didn't answer. It was like a final look from within their common past, condensed in Dahlia's words 'what now'. The new Dahlia wouldn't use these words any more. Both of them recognized it and it stirred up a smile on their faces.

"I'm gonna beat you so hard Dahlia", Cara said laughing and put her arms around her dragon.

"You can try."

Okay, so be it then. Cara had to accept the new challenge that was now forced between them. It was inevitable and it meant she would need to become the best Mord-Sith, definitely. Nothing would stop her, she would become the best Mord-Sith ever, the best knight. Both girls still indulged in deferring the inevitable separation. Cara saw Dahlia's waiting eyes at a close distance.

During these bittersweet moments at the far end of the temple's garden, Dahlia felt her masks drop. The Dragon Valley appeared again so real in her mind, a time and place beyond this time and the known world, in their common imagination, with so real images and true emotions. This place could always be reached wherever they were, whenever they wanted and nobody could force it to any other form that what they liked. The place of the dragon and the knight, a kiss on the dragon's neck, the knight having to keep the dragon close to her, sweet secret things, transformations, searching, enlacement, just secret things which only they would know for now and forever.

"You are not gonna burn me with your dragon fire, Dahlia?" Cara asked in a soft voice.

"I will, knight Cara", Dahlia answered smiling, closed her eyes and caressed Cara's hair. "But I grant you this last safe day."


End file.
